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A Christian men’s conference that took place late last week took a bizarre turn after preacher (and spiritual abuser) Mark Driscoll accused organizers of effectively putting on an ungodly strip show. He then barged off-stage after being told he was out of line.

I’ll back up.

The church in question is James River Church in Springfield, Missouri. If that sounds at all familiar, it may be because it’s the place where, last year, a woman claimed (without evidence) that God regrew three of her toes.

That church hosted the “Stronger Men’s Conference” on Thursday and Friday. It’s one of those events where men are taught to be manlier men by listening to male pastors and professional bull riders and boxers and NFL quarterbacks. If that’s how you want to spend your money, then you’ve got problems. But it’s not all that unusual in the world of Christian megachurches.

The entertainment this year included Cirque du Soleil-style acrobat Alex Magala, whose impressive résumé includes multiple stints on the “Got Talent” franchise where he’s an “aerial sword swallower.”

The performance he delivered to the Christian crowd was no less daring. The shirtless Magala swallowed a sword, climbed up a pole, then appeared to drop from it face first only to put on the brakes with his legs at the very last second. (Why did he take off his shirt? Look at what he’s doing! You can’t do that stunt in a slippery overcoat.)

What does that have to do with Jesus? Nothing. But then again, neither do bull riders, BMX bikers, or wrestlers. Yet they are all staples of these kinds of events. The goal is to pump up the crowd for… sermons.

In this case, the problems began when Mark Driscoll took the stage.

Mark Driscoll literally referring to the “COVID thing,” as if it was all a hoax (screenshot via YouTube)

The controversial and misogynistic preacher began his speech with a full-throated condemnation of the entertainment—and those who thought it would be a good idea to invite Magala to the festivities.

We're going to talk about how to be an Elijah and how to deal with the average Jezebel.

But let me do this. [Kneels] I've been up since 1:00 in the morning. The reason I'm hoarse is I’ve been praying for you, and my heart is very burdened for you.

I want to be very careful with this, and it's not what I want to say, but the Jezebel spirit has already been here. The Jezebel spirit opened our event. This is a rebuke and a correction of no one; this is an observation.

Before the word of God was open, there was a platform. It was a high place. On it was a pole, an Asherah. The same thing that's used in a strip club for women who have the Jezebel spirit to seduce men.

In front of that was a man who ripped his shirt off, like a woman does in front of a pole at a strip club.

That man then ascended. See, our God is not arrogant. He doesn't ascend. Our God is humble. He descends. And then, he swallowed a sword, and Jesus cr—Okay, Pastor John, I'll receive that. Thank you.

And then he stormed off stage.

To recap: Driscoll claimed that the death-defying feat seen earlier was anti-Christian because it involved a strip club-like pole (which was not used for stripping) and a man who removed his shirt (which wasn’t sexual in nature) in order to climb the pole so he could complete his big stunt.

All of this, Driscoll said, was evidence of the “Jezebel spirit” infesting the conference.

Driscoll says ridiculous bullshit all the time. This is merely the latest example of it. The irony is that there’s so much he could criticize about Christian men’s conferences! He could have said the performance was a waste of money! He could have told the audience the Bible already has everything they need to get excited about Jesus. He could have condemned the conference’s other poor decisions, like inviting a guy like him to speak there at all.

Instead, he went with homo-erotic imagery that resembles lady strippers.

The men in the crowd would have been better off watching an actual stripper than listening to Mark Driscoll, who actually poses a long-term threat to their mental health.

But the performer? He was harmless. He was hired to do his stage show, which seemed to go off perfectly. Calling that anti-Christian because Mark Driscoll sees sex everywhere he goes is a Driscoll problem, not anyone else’s. Finding a way to blame women for his concerns is a Driscoll specialty.

At the very end of his diatribe, you can hear the church’s leader, John Lindell, yell from the audience, “You’re out of line, Mark… You’re done.” That’s when Driscoll stormed off.

Lindell then took the stage—to the boos of the alpha males in the crowd—and said Driscoll never raised this concern earlier and should have brought it to him privately if he was that bothered by it:

Let me just say this… If Mark wanted to say that, he should have said it to me first. He didn’t. Matthew 18. Matthew 18. If your brother offends you, go to him privately. I talked to Mark for a half-hour. There was not one word of that! He’s out of line. If he wanted to say it, he could say it to me. You may not agree with me. You may not agree with him. But we are brothers in Christ, and there's a right way to handle disagreement.

That right there is the epitome of a Christian men’s conference: One asshole delivering a diatribe against a performance he doesn’t understand but insists he’s an expert about. Another asshole shouting at him from off-stage before claiming the real concern is that disagreements ought to be raised in private while never apologizing for inviting Asshole 1 to the event in the first place.

That’s the love of Christ in action.

(For what it’s worth, the idea that all disputes ought to be handled in private is horrible advice. That makes it far too easy for real problems—not what Driscoll was referring to, but actual problems—to be swept under the rug. It’s only because pastors went public about Driscoll’s abusive behavior that he ever saw any kind of punishment. That’s also true of sexual abuse within churches.)

In any case, the two men reportedly returned to the stage together to discuss their disagreement, but video of that is not available as far as I can tell.

Driscoll has plenty of supporters online following this incident, including the person who shared those videos online, who believes the performer’s history as an actual stripper is relevant to his performance. I don’t buy that at all. Magala wasn’t doing anything sexual; he did the kind of routine he’s performed on shows like “America’s Got Talent.”

Here’s the simplest solution to all of this: Avoid any church that hosts a men’s event. They’re always this over-the-top idiotic. This very church hosted one a couple of years ago that involved destroyed cars, a tank, fire, and insurrectionist senator Josh Hawley. If you need any of that to get closer to Jesus, you’re better off walking away from religion entirely.

In case you’re wondering, it was the atheists who spent their time packaging food for the hungry. No tanks at that conference. No Mark Driscoll, either.

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