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Bezos Says That When Pee Tape Is Released It Will Be Free for All Amazon Prime Members

SEATTLE (The Borowitz Report)—Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, announced on Tuesday that when the purported “pee tape” becomes available it will be offered free to all Amazon Prime members.<p>Speaking to reporters in Seattle, Bezos said that the pee-tape offer was “consistent with Amazon’s mandate …

Enterprise Tech

There’s a New M&M’s Flavor Inspired by *This* Ice Cream Treat

Two things we unabashedly love: ice cream and candy. So naturally, we’re more than a little excited about the latest M&M’s flavor to hit …

Food

Gov. Hogan signed a law banning Maryland pet stores from using ‘puppy mills.’ Store owners are pushing back.

Maryland is set to become the second state in the country — after California — to ban retail pet stores from selling puppies and kittens, which animal rights advocates say will help reduce demand for dogs born in “puppy mills.”<p>Gov. Larry Hogan (R) signed the legislation into law Tuesday despite …

Puppies

Legal Marijuana’s Big Moment

Despite hostility from the Trump administration, signs indicate federal decriminalization is only a flipped House away.<p>A couple of weeks ago, John Boehner was dining at one of his favorite Washington haunts, Trattoria Alberto on Barracks Row, when in walked Earl Blumenauer, the Democrat from Oregon …

Cannabis

White Texas Sheet Cake Recipe

"This cake is good to make a day ahead, and is very popular at pot-lucks."<p>Ingredients<p>1 cup butter<p>1 cup water<p>2 cups all-purpose flour<p>2 cups white sugar<p>…

Dessert

Weed makes some people clean like crazy, but scientists don't really know why

<i>This post is part of Mashable's Spring Cleaning Week. Just a little something to distract you from the eternal dread of constantly wiping all those</i> …

Cannabis

Four-Flavor Sheet Pan Pancakes

These weeknight recipes from Food Network can all be made using a single sheet pan.<p>The concept of the one-pot dinner gets a makeover with Sheet Pan …

Food

This luxurious hotel room is also a crazy paradise for gamers — take a look inside

Panama City has a lot to offer tourists. Gorgeous beaches, historic sites, and a lively downtown area are just a few of the many attractions that bring millions of tourists from all over the world to the Central American city every year.<p>But if you're not into any of that outdoorsy stuff, you might …

Panama City

100 Book Memes That Will Keep You Laughing For Days

Too many books or not enough bookshelves?

Walt Disney Company

The Best Stoner Movies Of All Time

Hey dudes and dudettes. As they say in stoner movies: It’s 4:20 somewhere — a.k.a. the unofficial official time of day to spark a blunt, hit the …

Cannabis

The State-by-State Guide to Weed in America

Are there dispensaries on every block – or could smoking a joint land you in jail?<p>A toke might make things feel a little simpler, but there's no …

Cannabis

It's The Hubble Space Telescope's Birthday. Enjoy Amazing Images Of The Lagoon Nebula

This month marks the Hubble Space Telescope's 28th anniversary, and as a gift to us earthlings, NASA and the European Space Agency are celebrating with a batch of stunning photos of the Lagoon Nebula, in all of its swirling, explosive beauty.<p>The Hubble "has offered a new view of the universe and …

Cosmology

Sen. Charles Schumer introduces measure to decriminalize marijuana

The Senate's top Democrat announced Friday that he is introducing legislation to decriminalize marijuana, the first time that a leader of either party in Congress has endorsed a rollback of one of the country's oldest drug laws.<p>Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) in a statement …

Cannabis

Love eating cookie dough? Make this safe, egg-free recipe you can customize

Rachel Fong of YouTube's Kawaii Sweet World is stopping by the TODAY kitchen to share two fun and flavorful dessert recipes.<p>She shows us how to make incredibly cute unicorn cupcakes and edible cookie dough three ways.<p>Unicorn Cupcakes<p>"These cupcakes look impressive with their rainbow swirl, but …

Dessert

Hubble delivers dazzling Lagoon Nebula for 28th anniversary

NASA and the European Space Agency celebrate the Hubble Space Telescope with a look at the dreamlike Lagoon Nebula.<p>The Hubble Space Telescope knows how to celebrate its anniversary in style. Each year, the telescope team releases a new, mind-blowing image of something gorgeous. The Lagoon Nebula is …

Cosmology

The Mobster Who Bought His Son a Hockey Team

A tale of goons, no-show jobs, and a legendary minor-league franchise that helped land its owner in prison<p><b>T</b>here’s nothing sadder than a small city.<p>A small town has its lawns and picket fences and wholesome values, a big town its go-getters and civic fathers. A big city has its strivers and fine …

Ice Hockey

Inside Princess Diana’s Fairy-Tale Royal Wedding

A look back at Charles and Diana’s royal fairy-tale nuptials—including the secret registry, hidden message, and staggering price tag.<p><i>Each Tuesday in April,</i> Vanity Fair <i>will flash back to a different British royal wedding in the lead-up to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s May 19 nuptials.</i><p>Even though</b> …

Weddings

Discord: 90 million PC gamers can't be wrong

Founder and CEO Jason Citron on the platform's rapid growth, and taking a hard line on the emergence of hate groups

Framing

James Harrison announces retirement

James Harrison has officially called it a career, as the 39-year-old linebacker announced his retirement Monday morning after 15 seasons in the …

NFL

TinyPi Worlds Smallest Raspberry Pi Games Console

Those of you that enjoy retro gaming on the Raspberry Pi might be interested in a new games console called TinyPi which is soon to be launched by the …

Raspberry Pi

'NCIS' Renewed by CBS for Season 16, Mark Harmon Signs New Deal

Monster drama is averaging 17 million viewers per episode this season<p>In the no-brainer move of the week, CBS has renewed its massive hit drama “NCIS” …

TV

Sidney Crosby humbles Flyers with highlight reel goal

Sidney Crosby is at it again, folks. He’s already scored what many are calling the goal of the 2018 Stanley Cup playoffs. OK, so the playoffs are …

Ice Hockey

Snoop Dogg Teams With The NHL To Host A New YouTube Series ‘Hockey 101 With Snoop Dogg’

Maybe Snoop Dogg can just do everything. The rapper turned actor turned impresario turned reality TV host has morphed again and shown us a whole new side of himself. <i>Snoop Dogg likes hockey</i>. In fact, Snoop Dogg <i>loves</i> hockey and his knowledge of the rules, lore, and contemporary world of the sport is …

Snoop Dogg

NHL Drafts Snoop Dogg For Video Series Explaining Hockey Rules & Culture As Playoffs Begin

The 2018 Stanley Cup Playoffs start tonight, and the NHL has drafted a familiar face to help casual fans better understand and enjoy the games. Snoop …

Ice Hockey

A Yorkshire pudding recipe from Gordon Ramsay

<i>The secret to a successful Yorkshire pudding recipe is allowing the batter to rest before pouring it into very hot oil. In the restaurant, we make</i> …

Yorkshire Pudding

Homeowners Get A Real Charge Out Of Their New Tesla Solar Roof

Generally speaking, a shingled roof is a fairly boring thing. It’s pretty much only there to keep the elements at bay. A roof that’s covered with …

Solar Power

Watch Jonathan's Married at First Sight Footage That Molly Doesn't Want You to See

Somebody has some explaining to do!<p>Last week, viewers of <i>Married at First Sight</i> were left on the edge of their seats when previews teased <b>Molly Duff</b> …

Married at First Sight

Inside Pauley Perrette's Final Days on NCIS

From the looks of it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house when <b>Pauley Perrette</b> said her <i>NCIS</i> goodbyes. In the photos below, get an inside look at …

TV

5 reasons why Pittsburgh Penguins will win Stanley Cup

The Pittsburgh Penguins will attempt to make history as they enter the Stanley Cup playoffs.<p>The Pittsburgh Penguins are in the Stanley Cup playoffs …

Ice Hockey

50 Terrifying Serial Killers From Each State Who'll Freak You The Hell Out

Oh. My. God.<p>🚨<i>HI! This post contains extremely disturbing material. Please continue at your own discretion.</i>🚨Not all submissions are from Community users.

Crime