The Onion4 hours agoAndy Reid Criticizes Soldier Field’s Eating Conditionstheonion.comKANSAS CITY—Following his team’s preseason game loss to the Chicago Bears, Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid on Thursday criticized Soldier …
The Onion10 hours agoInspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Offtheonion.comSAN CLEMENTE, CA—In awe of the woman’s resilience, sources confirmed Friday that 23-year-old Maya Franklin had achieved her goal of becoming a …
The Onion10 hours agoSerena Williams Looks Back On Her Career Highlightstheonion.comSerena Williams recently announced her retirement from tennis after a sterling career that has included 23 Grand Slam singles titles, the second-most …
The Onion1 day agoMan Feeling Ancient After Realizing He Older Than Everyone In Little League World Seriestheonion.comTOPEKA, KS—As he sat on his couch and watched the tournament on television Wednesday, 39-year-old Joshua Miller admitted he felt ancient upon …
The Onion1 day agoEvery Man Leering At Little League World Series Claiming To Be Scouttheonion.comSOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, PA—When pressed about which of the young athletes on the field they were there to support, every one of the strangers leering at …
The Onion2 days agoReport: Nothing Beats Seeing Yankees Lose At Hometheonion.comNEW YORK—An exhaustive report drawing on data compiled over the past several decades and released Tuesday concluded that nothing beats seeing the New …
