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SarcasticRover on Twitter: "Those of you stranded at an airport today, just imagine the airport is a deadly inhospitable planet… hi we're the same now."

God on Twitter: "Every word in the Bible is literally true. Then they start grouping themselves into sentences and you've got yourself a problem."

New conversation<p>Tweet unavailable<p>Tweet unavailable<p>Tweet unavailable<p>New conversation<p>End of conversation<p>New conversation<p>End of conversation<p>New … on Twitter: "TV "news" people are laughing at us when they "report" on the race of Santa."

Deb Chachra on Twitter: "TIL: Welders buy leather gloves a bit too big, because they shrink when they are exposed to heat. Me: “Of course—the collagen denatures.”"

SarcasticRover on Twitter: "I just sneezed and rock dust shot out my nose like a geyser! Oh, also I found my nose and I can sneeze, I guess."