Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson provides daily advice and tips about love, marriage, kids, family, dating, divorce and work for The Mercury News.

By The Mercury News

Advice
Ask Amy: She's become a tramp and I can no longer condone it
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DEAR AMY: I recently ended a treasured friendship that I believed would last a lifetime. We’re both 40 years old but late bloomers. While I got …
Advice
Ask Amy: Why would they say this upon hearing I'm dying?
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DEAR AMY: Three years ago I was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. When I am sitting down, it’s not always noticeable that I …
Advice
Ask Amy: She ghosted me but won't tell me what 'horrendous' thing I did
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DEAR AMY: Two years ago, a very close friend of 20 years ghosted me. I called, texted and emailed her and didn’t get a reply. When I ran into her …
Advice
Ask Amy: Why would two lesbians choose to adopt a boy?
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DEAR AMY: I love your column dearly and read it faithfully. Something is bugging me: People have the right to choose whatever orientation they want …
Advice
Ask Amy: He keeps showing me this awful kind of porn
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DEAR AMY: My husband of 25 years has an obsession with voyeur pornography. He is addicted to websites that feature women filmed without their consent …
Advice
Ask Amy: He's trying to force me to be his beneficiary
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DEAR AMY: A man whom I was involved with many years ago (we have remained friends) announced to me that he is making me beneficiary on his insurance …
Advice
Ask Amy: Trump fan struggles to cope at work
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I just started a new job. Every single TV at work is playing CNN. Even though Fox (three times the ratings), and MSNBC (two times the ratings) have …
Advice
Ask Amy: Should we have intervened to help this crying kid?
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DEAR AMY: I am perplexed by a situation my husband and I witnessed this afternoon in the downtown area of a large city we were visiting. A woman …
DNA Testing
Ask Amy: DNA testing uncovers terrible truth
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DEAR AMY: Like many others who have written to you, my sister and I recently learned that we have a half-sibling (through DNA testing). Our father …
Advice
Ask Amy: Preacher's daughter despairs over toxic church
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My dad has been a preacher for 48 years, and he’s been at his current assignment for more than 20 years. My family and I attend the church …
Advice
Ask Amy: Mother of the bride worries about 'mama's boy'
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DEAR AMY: My daughter’s boyfriend asked my husband and me for permission to marry our daughter last week. He is a real nice guy and we feel …
Advice
Ask Amy: When is one too old to shriek in public?
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DEAR AMY: I attended a festive gathering last weekend. There were about 20 people present, with 10 children in the mix, ages 3 to 13. The 3-year-old …
Advice
Ask Amy: I called him a gaslighter, he slept on the couch
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DEAR AMY: My husband and I have a good relationship, but last night a small argument spiraled out of control. I told him that it makes me feel anxious …
Advice
Ask Amy: Forget Marie Kondo and do some death cleaning
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DEAR AMY: Like many people my age, I have accumulated a lot of “stuff.” I know that (as we say in the electric power business) it’s time to “shed …
Advice
Ask Amy: I caught them vaping weed under the table at the ramen joint
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DEAR AMY: I have a favorite ramen shop that is so tiny and popular that a line often forms near the door as people wait for seats. Today, while …
Advice
Ask Amy: Our kids got sent home from the neighbors' Easter
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DEAR AMY: Our family had a nice Easter this year. However, when our neighbors’ extended family rolled in to have Easter dinner, our kids all had to …
Advice
Ask Amy: I think she stole $50,000 from our checking account
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My wife has been a great wife and companion for 50-plus years. However, this last year I believe she has become heavily addicted to …
Advice
Ask Amy: We're monogamous, but he won't call me 'girlfriend'
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DEAR AMY: I have been dating “Bradley” for four months now, and I really like him. He’s the real deal, and I have been enjoying our relationship. I …
Advice
Ask Amy: You are on your way to shackling your daughter to this loser
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DEAR AMY: I am the proud mom of two young adults, ages 25 and 22. I do not like or approve of my 22-year-old daughter’s boyfriend! He just does not …
Advice
Ask Amy: I wish I'd told my wife sooner that I'm a cross-dresser
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DEAR AMY: I am 65. I hope that this letter can help some younger couples. I frequently wore women’s clothing 40 years ago, before I was married. About …
Advice
Ask Amy: Getting rid of porn involves daring foray to neighbor's house
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: In the early years of our marriage my husband and I had a small collection of pornography magazines. We have not looked at these magazines …
Advice
Ask Amy: It's my turn to be sad, so why is my husband making this about him?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I have been working full time as a contract employee in academia. The money was great. I invested a lot of time and energy into the job. I …
Advice
Ask Amy: Every time I catch him, he says he's been hacked
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I’ve recently caught my husband of two years (father of our two sons) cheating. This is the fourth time I’ve caught him. The first time was …
Advice
Ask Amy: He's the most miserable skinny person we know
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My husband has been significantly overweight most of his life. He recently lost more than 60 pounds on a very strict diet. (I have to work …
Advice
Ask Amy: She's taken over our home and she's not even family
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I need a script and advice on how to deal with my controlling sister-in-law. Our family (four siblings) inherited a lake cabin from our …
Advice
Ask Amy: I slept with him, so I guess I deserve to be stalked
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DEAR AMY: My former boss is stalking me. I left my job, and now he is frequenting my house and new workplace by driving by. I, unfortunately, had an …
Advice
Ask Amy: I'm a woman who loves sex, but I can't find an equal
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: After 25 years, my marriage reached a dead end, and I took the leap into singledom at age 63. I am now a vibrant, attractive divorced woman …
Advice
Ask Amy: He says since we had a baby, I don't pay my fair share
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My husband and I met five years ago. We traveled extensively, mostly out of necessity. I worked as a consultant, traveling for …
Advice
Ask Amy: I'm a reformed bully, so why won't my victims forgive me?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I was a very unhappy person up until my 20s. I’ll spare you the melodrama, but I didn’t grow up in the best home and had very poor social …