Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson provides daily advice and tips about love, marriage, kids, family, dating, divorce and work for The Mercury News.

By The Mercury News

Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: My whole family knew he was sexting her, and they never told me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I just found out that my husband was sexting with my sister. From what I was told, nothing else happened, other than that they sent each …
17 hours ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I was appalled by her gift card maneuver
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: On occasion my wife and I will go out to dinner with two other couples. Since none of us drinks, we always split the bill and tip evenly …
1 day ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Our neighbors cram their trash in our can. Is it petty that I'm upset?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: We are an older, retired couple living in a townhouse condominium complex. As such we have individual garbage/recycling pick up. We do not …
2 days ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: How do I make sure no one finds my uninhibited diaries?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I am an older woman, an introvert, who has kept diaries, journals and notes my whole life. And naturally, in them I “let my hair down.” Now …
3 days ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: When I say I don't want to get married, they argue with me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
I don’t really want to get married for a bunch of reasons (like the high infidelity and divorce rates and all the responsibilities, expenses, …
4 days ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: She throws money at her loser son and ignores the amazing one
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My mother-in-law’s older son, “Adam” was a “wanted” child. A few years later, my husband, “Bill,” came along. In the more than 20 years my …
5 days ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: How much 12-stepping must I do to get her back in my life?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I am a recovering alcoholic and the mother of two beautiful adult daughters. While I have been sober for seven years, my relationship with …
6 days ago
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: If he marries my daughter, his life will be hell. Should I warn him?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: Do I have an obligation to warn my future son-in-law about my daughter’s mental illness? Let me explain: I have been married to her mother …
September 10
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Aunt's insults alienated teenager, and his mom is fed up, too
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My sister-in-law can be a warm, loving person, but she frequently comes across as controlling and hypercritical. Every time I host a dinner …
September 9
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: His ex is his best friend, and she refuses to meet me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I have been seeing my boyfriend for nine months. We are middle-aged, and are talking about building a life together. When we met, he told me …
September 8
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: My husband uses apps to micromanage and spy on me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: In this age of “smart homes,” where everything can be synced up by an app with notifications, are we wrong to feel a loss of privacy? I work …
September 7
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Here's my strategy if I run into the bully at our reunion
The Mercury News - Carolyn Hax
DEAR AMY: This may sound silly, but my 50th high school reunion is approaching fast. One of the people who will attend is the “mean kid” who …
September 6
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I want to wear a sign to ward off this painful question
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I recently lost my husband after 31 years of marriage. He was 54 years old. I am back to work, and trying to keep things together. I know …
September 5
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: His constant 'ch-ch-ch' makes me want to cut my ears off
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: My husband has OCD. He refuses to seek treatment. His behaviors annoy and irritate me in many ways. However, the worst for me is when we …
September 4
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I hate their politics. Do I have to go to the wedding?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: Help! There has been a big rift in my family since the 2016 election. My cousin is quite right-wing and has been particularly rude and …
September 3
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: When I asked about her 'camping trip,' my girlfriend got defensive
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I’ve been seeing a girl for a few years now. We both have busy schedules and try to juggle to see each other, although probably not enough …
September 2
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I felt sorry for these sad old people until I learned what they had done
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I did some volunteer work at an eldercare facility. I was sad to see how many people’s families paid for their care but didn’t come to …
September 1
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: My 'work wife' is getting married, and I'm hurt by her snub
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I met “Jane” and “Louis” two years ago. Jane and I work together and quickly became good friends — she even called me her “work wife.” Jane …
August 31
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: We found a creepy note inside our suitcase
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: Recently my daughter and I traveled several thousand miles via major airline. Due to various snafus, our luggage did not arrive at our …
August 30
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Should we let our son know we found the photos he took?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: Our 40-something married son had password-protected some old files on our home computer. We had trouble with our hard drive. We told our …
August 29
Ask Amy: I told a lie, and now I could lose my job and my home
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I am a mother of two young kids and am in the process of buying a house. I’m worried about work, because I have exaggerated my credentials …
August 28
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: My share came to $30 for one slice of pizza
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I am a widow and a senior citizen frequently included in family dinner outings. These dinners include children and other adults, who often …
August 27
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: We want to sell the house, but she won't leave
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: Our sister has lived with my parents for almost her entire adult life. For a time, she paid a small amount for room and board, but it was …
August 26
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Can I fix this before my son realizes what he missed out on?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I am 32 years old. My parents divorced 17 years ago. I came home from school to find my dad gone. Months went by before there was any …
August 25
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: Can I stop them from adding these words to her gravestone?
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
She was very specific about her grave marker because she was sensitive about her age. She said she didn’t want any dates listed, only her name, and …
August 24
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: When I say I'm burned out, they imply it's my own fault
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I work as an executive assistant. I manage other people’s lives and multiple calendars every day. I am good at my job. I have also had to …
August 23
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I suggested he break up with his wife and come back to me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: At the age of 21, I was in love with “Steve.” We planned a life together but broke up for a bunch of dumb reasons. We’d see each other every …
August 22
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: She just won't keep her hands off me
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I recently attended my nephew’s wedding, which was also an occasion to get together with members of his father’s family. While we didn’t …
August 21
Amy Dickinson
Ask Amy: I want a snappy answer to an annoying question I keep getting
The Mercury News - Amy Dickinson
DEAR AMY: I have yet another question to add to your list of: “Why would you ask that?” I am a teacher. I just turned 65. The annoying question I get …
August 20