So. Damn. Funny.
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Dear Colleagues,<p>It’s that time of year again — time for our Secret Santa Office Party! You may remember that for the past eight years, we called it the Office Gift Exchange, but now that we can legally say “Merry Christmas,” let’s go for it and say Secret <i>Santa</i>!<p>We wanted to share with you some …naughty
I apologize for my beard. Not only because it is terrible — thin, patchy and asymmetrical — but also because it is inexplicable. Many people have asked me why I grew it, and most of those people are my wife, and to them and to her I say: I don’t know. I’m sorry.<p>Before my beard I had just a …
Holy shit holy shit holy shit. That cordial was <i>cor-dialllll</i>, right, Anne? Anne? ANNE! ANNNNNEEEEEEE! Hahahahah, oh my god I’m just here like …
“Party building key, reform for y'all.”<p>The Chinese government has been quietly releasing bizarre propaganda rap videos, and they’re absolutely hilarious.<p>From a video claiming to tell foreigners the truth about China (“The red dragon ain’t no evil, but a peaceful place!”) to a People’s Liberation …China
911 OPERATOR: 911—what’s your emergency?<p>ROBERT: Hi, I . . . uh . . . I work from home.<p>OPERATOR: O.K., is anyone else there with you, sir?<p>ROBERT: No, I’m alone.<p>OPERATOR: And when’s the last time you saw someone else? Was that today?<p>ROBERT: Uh, my wife . . . this morning, I guess.<p>OPERATOR: Anyone …Homeschooling
As the year draws to a close, it’s time to sit down with your cats and give them feedback on how they’ve been performing. To help you prepare for the …Employment
2016, on the whole, can do one. Whether it was the death of Bowie or the birth of Brexit, the slow motion car crash of the presidential election and …Snoop Dogg
This country is ungrateful as hell. You know good and damb well Black folks built this thing with our blood and sweat, literally. Now you wanna treat …Mo Farah
It was inevitable: The bible has been updated for the 21st century with a new... <i>emoji</i> translation. According to <i>The Guardian</i>, an anonymous translator, who prefers to be identified only by 😎, reworked the King James Version of the bible using unicode emoji, as well as common internet abbreviations …Theology
Doomsday Clock Pushed To One Minute To Midnight After Arby’s Threatens Launch Of 3-Cheese Jalapeño Beef ’N Bacon MeltHumor
I hereby uninvent the conference call. That’s right, there is now no means by which six or twenty or—God forbid—a hundred people can all meet and discuss a topic over the phone. Personally, I feel like that brief sentence alone should be enough for anyone to pause and think, Multiple people trying …Humor
In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also <i>not</i> given a fuck about many people and many things. And those fucks I …Mind
January 10th, 2015 at 1:44PM<p>joseph-the-mop-blog asked: I have been trying to write for a while now. I have all these amazing ideas, but its really …