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August 3 1914: the countdown to cataclysm across the world

The build-up to hostilities of the First World War was met with joy in Berlin, disinterest in France, disbelief in America and fear in Russia<p><b>GERMANY by Justin Huggler</b><p>Huge crowds poured through the streets of Berlin on 3 August, 1914. They were celebrating in Germany. Soldiers marched through the …

WW1 centenary: how the events of August 4 1914 unfolded

Britain went to war on August 4 1914. We document the dramatic events leading up to the declaration of war as they happened, hour-by-hour<p>The outbreak of war in 1914 is not an Agatha Christie drama at the end of which we will discover the culprit standing over a corpse in the conservatory with a …

The start of the First World War was a seminal moment in modern history

It shaped almost every aspect of the world in which we now live – the first act in a drama that lasted until the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991<p>The final weekend of peace was sunny and warm. On the Bank Holiday Monday, day trippers flocked to the most popular resorts, Blackpool and Brighton, …

The First World War still touches Britain

The lost lives we commemorate have added meaning in light of the troubles of today<p>Tomorrow marks the 100th anniversary of Britain entering the First World War, a chance to remember the fallen at church services or at wreath layings across the country. In the evening, many Britons will be lighting a …

World History

Military kit through the ages: from the Battle of Hastings to Helmand

Photographs by Thom Atkinson of military kit through the ages suggest that while technology evolves apace, the experience of soldiers in the face of war is unchanging<p>On a winter’s day in 1915 the family of one Capt Charles Sorley – athlete, soldier and poet – received a package. It was his kit bag, …

In war and peace, Britain can be proud

When plans were made for the commemoration of the First World War, it seemed like an exercise in history – a necessary and salutary process of remembrance, but not one that could have much resonance in an age where consumerism appeared to have replaced patriotism as society’s animating force.<p>Yet …

Aiguille du Midi in Chamonix Mont Blanc, France.

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Stale Mates

Man Drives Car Into Wal-Mart, Assaults Shoppers

A man is in custody in San Jose, CA after he struck two cars with his Oldsmobile in a Wal-Mart parking lot Sunday, drove through the storefront, and …

South Carolina Defends Right To Fly Hardee's Flag From State Capitol

COLUMBIA, SC—Faced with mounting pressure from critics who say it sends the wrong message about the state, residents of South Carolina have mounted a …

YouTube + The Onion = April Fool's

YouTube announced today—April 1—that its long-running competition, which seeks to crown a video champion, is coming to a close, and that it will …

Internet

‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 3 Opens With Every Character Getting Fingered While Discussing Arrival Of Winter

LOS ANGELES—After an extended hiatus, HBO’s <i>Game Of Thrones</i> kicked off its third season last night with a scene featuring every one of the epic …

Heartbreaking Yelp Review Says It’s Just Nice To Eat A Meal Around Other People

SOUTH BEND, IN—In an exceedingly depressing review posted Monday on the popular website Yelp, a user identified as Gregg4 gave five stars to local …

Area Man Has No Idea How He Got On Hamas E-Mail List

ATLANTA—Twenty-two-year-old bank teller Paul Branocek told reporters Wednesday he is clueless as to why the militant Palestinian organization Hamas …

Raiders Confident Some Dipshit Team Will Be Stupid Enough To Trade For Carson Palmer

OAKLAND, CA—Claiming that there are plenty of dumb-as-fuck NFL franchises, Raiders general manager Reggie McKenzie reportedly expressed confidence …

Cardinal Says Catholic Church Should Welcome Gays

While admitting the Vatican would not change its opposition to same-sex marriage, Archbishop of New York Timothy Dolan said the Church should be more …

The President of Vice

Joe Biden

New photos from Mad Men wish you a merry Christmas, which is something you can buy but never truly have

The return of <i>Mad Men</i> is only days full of baseless speculation away now, and today AMC has added a whole new batch of photos from the premiere to …

Mad Men

Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 2, 2013

Aries | March 21 to April 19<p>Nothing noteworthy will occur in your life this week, as you have not paid your cable bill in months.<p>Taurus | April 20 to …

U.S. Ambassador To Cambodia Thinks Diplomatic Immunity Covers What He Just Did

PHNOM PENH—Wiping blood from his hands as he spoke with reporters Monday, U.S. ambassador to Cambodia William E. Todd said that if memory served, the …

President Personally Performs First Obamacare Euthanization

WASHINGTON—In a symbolic ceremony celebrating the signature legislative achievement of his administration, President Barack Obama personally …

Mesmerized Kevin Ware Can't Stop Watching Video Of His Leg Breaking On YouTube

INDIANAPOLIS—After suffering a gruesome compound fracture during last weekend’s NCAA Midwest Regional final, Louisville guard Kevin Ware has been …

Bear Emerges From Hibernation Refreshed And Ready To Kill

'That Seems About Right,' Says Soon-To-Be-Audited Man

CAMDEN, MN—While filling out a 1040 form and other documents Tuesday in preparation for filing his 2012 federal tax returns, local man Robert Moran, …

Fannie Mae reports $17.2 billion profit for 2012

Fannie Mae, the mortgage finance company seized by the government during the 2008 financial crisis, reported a $17.2 billion profit for last year and has repaid more than a quarter of the federal money that was needed to keep it afloat.<p>The company said it earned $7.6 billion in the fourth quarter …