WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The outgoing chief of staff, John Kelly, departed the White House with the nation’s nuclear codes hidden in his pants, General Kelly has confirmed. Kelly, whose illustrious
“They'll never think to look in the washing machine!!!!" A man in the Netherlands is in some hot water after police found almost half a million in cold hard cash in uhhh… a laundry machine and he was arrested
Sometimes a middling foreign policy crisis produces a presidential decision of far more consequence. It clarifies and crystallizes the executive’s core instincts, thereby establishing a road map for managing
All you need are a few pairs of dumbbells and you can burn calories, lose fat, and get super strong and lean. Arm yourself with this guide to the best strength-training exercises using dumbbells. Some
After a long year of anticipation, legal recreational cannabis has finally gone live in Canada. As the first Group of Seven country to fully legalize recreational weed nationwide, Canada’s odyssey into
Guests arrive for the Louis Vuitton fashion show near the Louvre Pyramid during the Paris Fashion Week in Paris, France, October 2, 2018. REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes PARIS (Reuters) - LVMH’s Louis Vuitton
There is no single secret to success. If there were, and if it were straightforward or easy, everybody would do it. But everybody doesn't do it. That said, there are certainly habits and strategies that
Scientists who study asteroids often say that Earth is drifting through a cosmic shooting gallery. Some angry space rocks, like the recent Chelyabinsk meteorite that exploded over Russia, are big enough
Navigate back to civilization. Today, we live in a world where GPS systems, digital maps, and other navigation apps are all available on our smartphones. Few of us just walk straight into the woods without
Scorching report on poverty finds ‘systematic attack on welfare program’ will leave millions deprived of food and healthcare Donald Trump is deliberately forcing millions of Americans into financial ruin,
As America gets accustomed to the idea of legal marijuana, entrepreneurs are branching into a host of new products and ways of thinking about cannabis experience. Smokable flower is still the top consumption
The tech world can sometimes feel like Logan’s Run. If you haven’t made your start by the end of your twenties, you’re officially past it. Daniel Ek founded Spotify when he was 23. Steve Jobs launched
"Drift" is the decision we make by not deciding, or by making a decision that unleashes consequences for which we don't take responsibility. You go to medical school because both your parents are doctors.
(CNN) — They stowed away on trains, slept in shelters and marched in protests as they trekked across Mexico. Soon hundreds of migrants from Central America will find out whether it was worth it. Buses
Cory Booker brought his campaign to make legalized marijuana a centerpiece of the movements for social and racial justice to Al Sharpton’s annual convention, a notable venue ahead of the 2020 campaign.