indred

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Lone Ant Crawling Through Kitchen Trumpets Arrival Of Horde

Insects

Busy Obama Sends Drone To Pick Up Sasha From School

Stomach Sets Aside Synthetic Additives Until It Has A Few Minutes To Figure Out How To Digest Them

BROKEN ARROW, OK—Admitting it had no idea what it was supposed to do with the dozens of preservatives and flavor enhancers, the stomach of local man …

Nutrition

No One In Family Sure Who Trip To Arboretum Is Geared Toward

SUMMIT, NJ—Filing uncertainly into the main hallway of the property’s welcome center, each member of the Robertson family privately admitted to …

Gardening

Budget Travel Tips

• Before booking your trip, pinpoint the love of your life so as to have someone with whom to split expenses.<br>• Avoid airline baggage fees by swallowing a …

Report: More Companies Offering Paid Maternity Leave To Mothers Who Complete 3 Months Of Work Ahead Of Time

BOSTON—According to a report released Friday by Harvard Business School, more U.S. companies are offering up to 12 weeks of paid maternity leave to …

Trump Supporter Still Planning On Rioting At National Convention Anyway

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Local Donald Trump supporter David Kearney informed reporters Thursday that, although his preferred candidate had already effectively …

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told …

Texas To Execute Death Row Inmates With New 3-Drug Molotov Cocktail

HUNTSVILLE, TX—In response to a nationwide shortage of the chemicals conventionally used to carry out capital punishment, officials from the Texas …

Death Row

Christ Does Soft Return To Gauge Interest

TOPEKA, KS—Descending from on high to gather valuable data on His followers’ preferences, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was said …

‘Bang, Bang,’ Bored White House Sniper Whispers To Self With Random Tourist’s Head In Crosshairs

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to pass the time while perched atop the White House roof, bored Secret Service sniper Michael Flynn centered his rifle’s …