Rachmat Apit Wiriadipura
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OUR SECOND UNIVERSAL FEAR: LOW SELF-WORTH “Almost universally there is a feeling that runs through each person in every culture and society of our world that we are somehow just not good enough. We feel that we don’t deserve recognition for our contributions to our families, communities, and workplaces. We feel that we aren’t worthy of being honored and respected as human beings. Sometimes we even surprise ourselves with the feeling that we aren’t good enough to be alive. “While this sense of low self-worth may not always be conscious, it’s there continuously and provides the underlying foundation for the way we approach life and our relationships with other people. As masters of emotional survival, we often find ourselves playing out the real-life scenarios that equate to the imaginary values we place on ourselves. “For example, every one of us has dreams, hopes, and aspirations of accomplishing greater things in our lives, and more often than not we rationalize all the reasons why we’ll never have them. As we’ve seen in earlier chapters, emotion is a language unto itself, the very language that the Divine Matrix responds to. When we feel as though we can’t achieve our biggest dreams, the Matrix simply gives back to us what we’ve given it to work with: delays, challenges, and obstacles. “Although we may wish for greater things, the doubt that comes from deep within us ultimately comes from our feelings of low worth. We wonder, Am I good enough to have such joy in my life? And why would we expect to feel any differently? In the Western Judeo-Christian tradition, we’ve been told by those we trust and respect that we’re somehow “lesser” beings. We aren’t as good as the angels of the heavens or the saints that we learn from. This same tradition has convinced many people that just by being in this world, we need to be redeemed from life itself for reasons that we’re told are beyond our understanding. “Through the 2,000-year-old story of Jesus, we’re compared to the edited, condensed, and preferred memory of a man’s life that we can never live up to. “Sometimes the comparisons are serious admonitions, suggesting that we may be condemned to a very tough afterlife if we don’t live a certain way. Sometimes they’re a little lighter, simply reminding us of our inadequacy by asking sarcastic questions such as: “Who do you think you are—Jesus Christ?” or “How are you going to get there … walk on water?” How many times have you heard these or similar remarks, implying that even though you may try your best to live a good life, you’ll never be as good or worthy as a master of the past? Although we seldom take such comments seriously, on a deep level they still remind us that we’re somehow undeserving of life’s greatest joys. “Even if you have high self-esteem, to some degree you may believe these suggestions. Ultimately, on some level, we all probably do. As a result, we express our beliefs through our expectations of our achievements, how much joy we allow ourselves, and the success of our relationships. Our fear of not being valuable enough to have love, acceptance, health, and longevity promises that every one of our relationships will reflect the fear of low worth. And it happens in ways that we would never expect in a million years. “For example, how many times have you settled for relationships that aren’t what you really want but rationalize them by saying things such as: “This is good enough for now” or “This is a steppingstone to something better”? Have you ever found yourself saying, “I’d love to share my life with a loving, compassionate, nurturing, and caring partner, but …” or “This isn’t the job where I can really express my gifts and talents, but …” followed by all the reasons why your greatest dreams can’t be realized in this moment? “If these or similar scenarios have played out in your life, there’s a good chance that they are the skillfully created masks that you use to question your worth. Through your personal and business relationships, you remind yourself of your core beliefs about yourself, beliefs that ask for a greater healing.” pgs 156 – 158, The Divine Matrix, Gregg Braden
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