Anna Rosenblum Palmer blog

By Anna Rosenblum Palmer | Denver based freelance writer. I write about sex, parenting, mental health. Things that make you say fuck.

Flash mob flash point

“I’m going to have a miserable day.” He throws his words at me like a threat. Their impact is somewhat lessened by the fact that he is zipping …

Flash Mob

A revelatory "conversation" with the dentist about pole dancing

I don’t know what I expected from a dentist that offers Botox.<p>I am reclined in her chair preparing for my filling. The dentist is preparing for my …

Cheese

Family Meeting- 20 minutes a week can save your sanity

They DO appreciate me<p><b>Appreciations</b>– We each appreciate every other family members, and ourselves. These often take the form of memories from the …

Hand in hand

I am backing slowly down the steep incline of our driveway. It is 8:10 and I am a little later than usual…but just in time for the elementary kids to …

Parenting

Entering the race

I have always felt uniquely unsuited to write about race. I have spent my life cultivating white guilt.<p>As a family story goes when I was three I was …

Just say no to potty training and other pre-emptive parenting.

When I was seven months pregnant with my first son my straight talking OB responded to my umpteenth question about light cramping with: “I think its …

Parenting

How to tell if your child's injury is real or imagined

Ten is a funny age. He still climbs into boxes and up trees making himself both small and tall- which of course he is. Right now he is cross legged …

Parenting

Spit or Swallow

As he makes his way past his father he gives him a hip check with a grunt of anger.<p>“Leo. Put down your plate and go to your room. Go take out your …

Parenting

The best thing I have ever done with 40 dollars

Our family lives amply. We have a summer house, tennis lessons, and someone to scrub our toilet every other week. Or more specifically our four …

Parenting

Why I was a cheating cheater

It’s easy enough to blame my affair on my dead dad.<p><b>The Husband</b><p>My husband and I met at Brown University. J was tall and golden and tanned. I imagined …

Love

Getting off.

For the last decade of my father’s life he was a virtual shut it. He shuffled down the glass hallway between our house and studio in his slippers …

Eleven Signs You have Nailed this Parenting Thing

We worry about teaching our kids resiliency, kindness and how to eat a balanced meal. We are focused on the wrong things. If your kid can’t make a …

Love and Death. Another reason to loathe Valentine's day

Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate Valentine’s day, how about you?<p>Some of us are alone as highlighted by Hallmark. Some of us are together and …

Parenting

Superbowl, Superpill Depression, and Defense

My love for the Patriots and my mental illness have been with me for about the same length of time. They are not causal, but transitive. They both …

New England

I have more to say about Vaginas

Today I have the debut guest post on the site Making Midlife Matter writing about women’s desires to erase the laugh lines of life from their faces …

Plastic Surgery

Sex, drugs, diets, kids & cats. Shit requiring attention, which I 'd rather ignore.

I was looking down the long hallway when something hit me in the head. The brown paper bag bounced to the floor and I bent down to pick it up careful …

read

Dressing down dressing up

I don’t like to dress up. Heels, makeup, spanx, a bra with underwire. All disasters. Add to those things a few vodkas and I am a dripping, stumbling, …

Clothing

Standardized Testing in elementary school

He is swiveling gently in our cow chair knee socks up to his shins. I like the knee socks, a gift from his grandma, they remind me of my own time in …

Education

7 minutes in presence, a story of first time meditation

This is the second day of my mindfulness training. I am practicing Awareness (capital intended), with a gentle pushing away of thoughts of the past, …

New Math, Old Misery

He enters the bedroom at 7:45 in the morning. He has squeezed himself into last year’s hoodie footie pajamas and pulled the hood up over his newly …

Naked Cowboys and f***ing Oysters

Oysters have a reputation. They get around and they get you to get around. So you might have read the title of this post as a euphemism. But it is …

The friendship equation. Solving for the unknowns.

Outside of my family the person I see most is someone I haven’t spoken to in nine years. We don’t live in the same state anymore, but when I am in a …

The business end of blogging

(Almost) every morning I write. I credit my need to write to my mother who made me keep a journal. Every night I had to sit with my bound book for 15 …

How to get offered a sponsored post

I am about as capable of pitching as this toy is at fixing an engine.<p>If strike through was allowed in titles this post would be called: How<p>notto get …

Euphemism, Youth-emism

I don’t mean to brag but my kids already understand penis jokes.<p>Yesterday Oliver was selecting a banana from the bunch and held up his choice. “I …

Noneday

Trigger warning…this post might make Monday worse. In fact, by starting with a g-damned trigger warning it already has. Also- reminder I am an expert …

Anna is

I write about my diet (spoiler: It sucks and I fail), depression (just another fun fact of life), cat pee (omnipresent), my parenting philosophy (try …

Parenting