The Onionflipped into OpinionPlayStation 5 PlayStation 5 Confirmed For Holiday 2020theonion.com As the next-generation console war heats up, Sony Entertainment has confirmed that their next console, now officially dubbed the Playstation 5, will …
The Onionflipped into VideoSatire Highlights Of The Fourth Democratic Debatetheonion.com All the latest politics coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into OpinionSatire Americans Tune Into Fourth Democratic Debatetheonion.com Amidst a whirlwind of impeachment news, health scares, and scandals, 12 presidential candidates attended the fourth Democratic debate last night, …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatireMan Can’t Look At Angel Flying Down From Heaven To Save Drowning Child And Not Feel Like There Must Be Some Higher Powertheonion.com SAINT IGNACE, MI—As a divine chorus pealed forth in joy and triumph from the sky above the lake, contractor Charles Taylor admitted that he could …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire Blizzard Entertainment Faces Public Backlash For Banning Esports Championtheonion.com After an outcry from players for a move widely perceived as bowing to Chinese censorship, Blizzard Entertainment has decreased the ban of Heathstone …
The Onionflipped into LocalKangaroos Report: Kangaroo At Petting Zoo Can’t Be Goodtheonion.com PITTSFIELD, IL—Questioning exactly how the marsupial even made its way to such a small roadside attraction, local father Kyle Conrad, 43, confirmed …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire 911 Operator Informs Black Caller That Death Is On The Waytheonion.com LITTLE ROCK, AR—Reassuring the man that he would receive an immediate response to his emergency, a 911 operator reportedly informed local black …
The Onionflipped into VideoSatire 5 Things To Know About ‘Zombieland: Double Tap’theonion.com All the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire State-Of-The-Art PA System Squandered On Lutheran Churchtheonion.com BRANSON, MO—Questioning the motivation and financial wisdom of the recent investment on the part of Blessed Hope Lutheran, parishioners and concerned …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire Dog Ownership Linked To Longer Lifetheonion.com Research published in Circulation: Cardiovascular Quality And Outcomes found that dog owners who suffered a stroke or heart attack had a roughly 30% …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Husky 9-Year-Old Claims Hotel Hot Tub As Owntheonion.com All the latest local coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into OpinionSatire Wings And A Pairtheonion.com The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into OpinionSatire Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 15, 2019theonion.com Just when things seem to be going your way, you’ll be forced to get out of bed this week. Nobody knows your sweet old Jeremiah as well as you do, …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoShepard Smith Shepard Smith Abruptly Departs Fox Newstheonion.com Fox newscaster Shepard Smith abruptly announced his departure from Fox News last week due to rising tensions between the fact-based broadcaster and …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Report: You May Not Remember Mom’s Friend, But Mom’s Friend Sure Remembers Youtheonion.com NASHVILLE, TN—In a new report that reveals she has really enjoyed seeing pictures of you growing up over the years, sources indicated Monday that …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Teen Could Go For A Big Huff Of Something Right Nowtheonion.com All the latest local coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire ‘I Built This,’ Whispers Social Media Manager Beholding His Empire Of Successful Fuddruckers Tweetstheonion.com HOUSTON—Marveling at the glorious majesty of what he had created, social media manager Ryan McCann reportedly whispered “I built this” Monday while …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Report: Looks Like Ex Gained Some Weight Ever Since They Started Dating Someone Bettertheonion.com GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Suggesting the breakup really left its mark on them, a new report published Monday has concluded that it sure looks like your ex …
The Onionflipped into OpinionPinball For Its 33rd Year, OGN Adamantly Refuses To Report On The Pinball Expo ‘Flip Out’ Tournament Or Any Pinball-Related Newstheonion.com Since its inception, the Onion Gamers Network has prided itself on being the number-one source for all gaming-related news, bringing our readers the …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire CDC Finds STDs At All-Time Hightheonion.com A new CDC report found that combined incidences of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia in the U.S. reached an all-time high in the last year with more …
The Onionflipped into VideoNobel Prize 2019 Nobel Prize Winnerstheonion.com The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Middle School Boy Assumes Crush Staring Into His Eyes During Slow Dance Waiting For Him To Make Fart Noises With Handstheonion.com LANSING, MI—Encouraged by what he interpreted as “pretty strong signals,” 12-year-old middle school student Brian Foster assumed Friday that Rebecca …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire ‘At Least Someone’s Getting Pregnant,’ Reports Mother-In-Law Watching News Story About Child Bridestheonion.com ITHACA, NY—Watching a new story about the legal loopholes that allow underage American girls to be married off to much older men who have impregnated …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire 2 Associates Of Giuliani Indicted On Campaign Finance Chargestheonion.com Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, two important witnesses for the ongoing impeachment inquiry, have been arrested on charges related to helping the …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire Montgomery, Alabama Elects First Black Mayortheonion.com Judge Steven Reed has been elected mayor in Montgomery, AL, making him the first black man to attain the office in Alabama’s capital with 67% of the …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoJoe Biden Biden Calls For Trump’s Impeachmenttheonion.com Escalating previous rhetoric railing against the current White House, former Vice President Joe Biden for the first time called for President Donald …
The Onionflipped into LocalSatire Business That Supposedly Considers Itself One Big Family Doesn’t Want Employees Bathing Togethertheonion.com ATLANTA—Protesting what they view as glaring hypocrisy, employees at Liberty Point Insurance said they were disheartened Thursday to learn that …
The Onionflipped into VideoBreaking Bad 5 Things To Know About ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’theonion.com All the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire 3 Scientists Win Nobel Prize For Work On Nature Of Universetheonion.com The Nobel Prize in Physics has been awarded to three scientists: James Peebles for his work on cosmological theories that created a framework to …
The Onionflipped into OpinionIcon version of the Flipboard logoSatire Trump Blocks U.S. Ambassador From Testifying To Congresstheonion.com The White House blocked U.S. Ambassador Gordon D. Sondland from speaking with investigators to several House committees in President Trump’s …
