Megan Kelley

43 Flips | 6 Magazines | 20 Likes | 7 Following | @MeganKelley3sq8 | Keep up with Megan Kelley on Flipboard, a place to see the stories, photos, and updates that matter to you. Flipboard creates a personalized magazine full of everything, from world news to life’s great moments. Download Flipboard for free and search for “Megan Kelley”

People Told Us the Highest They've Ever Been in Six Words

“Thought I was in SpongeBob’s house.”<p>You don’t <i>really</i> know how insane being out-of-your-mind high can feel until you’ve experienced it yourself. And given one in eight Americans use marijuana, many likely have. Not every toke is going to rattle your brain, of course. But depending on how much you …

We Asked People to Sum Up Their Most Irrational Fear in Six Words

"Unknowingly being 'muffin top epidemic' b-roll."<p>If you’ve ever held an irrational fear, you know how much it sucks: Full-on panic washes over just thinking about a common place, situation, or object. Heartbeats flutter and breaths get shorter just imagining whatever horror you’ve conjured in your …

Because I Said So: All the Things Our Parents Didn't Let Us Enjoy

People tell their banned pop culture tales in six words.<p>Growing up, you may have had strict rules about what facets of pop culture you could or couldn’t partake in. You weren't alone. Depending on how conservative the home, the more intense parents could become about what movies, books, and TV …

The Pettiest Lies People Have Ever Told to Get Out of Plans

"I'm doing Hurricane Katrina relief work."<p>Comedian John Mulaney has this great bit in his stand-up routine about the wonderful rush that accompanies abandoning a commitment: “In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” And he’s right! What feels better than wiggling out of a …

Babysitter

Is It 'Toward' or 'Towards'?

Many English speakers know that British English and American English are different, and if pressed on how they're different, they'll likely point to …

People Told Us the Wildest Place They've Had Sex in Six Words

“In tube slide at a playground.”<p>Sex isn’t always a high-octane thrill ride, but do it frequently enough and you're likely to come away with a wild story or two. Even if your sexual history is mostly a snore, chances are you have a few thrilling dalliances in unusual places under your belt. That in …

People Told Us Their Worst Pet Horror Stories

“Cousin’s temperamental, sociopathic iguana pooped everywhere.”<p>Not every four-legged furball is destined to be your new best friend. As anyone who’s met an aggressive pet can tell you, animals can be total assholes. Snarling dogs, hissing cats, vicious hamsters, possessive roosters; we’ve seen it …

Pets

We Asked People About the First Time They Had Sex and Good Lord

“Threesome with best friend. We high-fived.”<p>Watching enough screwball comedies can lead you to believe losing one’s virginity will inevitably involve elaborate, wackadoo adventures. But IRL, it usually doesn’t involve a comical series of misunderstandings, pulse-pounding car chases, and romantic …

We Asked People Why They Unfollowed Friends, in Six Words

People told us why they finally clicked that unfollow button.<p>Just as you'd ask a belligerent guest to leave your house party, sometimes you have to kick assholes off your Insta-feeds and Twitter timelines. Hate-filled political rants, idiotic memes, unchecked racism, icky oversharing –– at some …

People Sum Up Their Most Inappropriate Relationship in Six Words

"His children were older than me."<p>Thinking about some past, cringe-inducing relationships can make you question who you even were. How could you be so reckless, so thoughtless? How did <i>t</i><i>hat guy or gal</i> win your affection? Out of wack power dynamics, troublesome age differences, infidelity; it's bone …

People Told Us Their Most Horrific Subway Stories in Six Words

"Saw man die on third rail."<p>The subway system in New York is currently broken—a "state of emergency," in fact. Delays and overcrowding have become commonplace (not to mention sex crimes), ravens are disemboweling live pigeons on the platforms, and the guy in charge of the whole system is in hiding. …

New York City

Women Sum Up the Grossest Thing They've Seen in a Man's Apartment in Six Words

"Left his Fleshlight drying in kitchen."<p>Not all women are squeaky clean princesses, but men seem to take disgusting homes to new heights. Between nasty bathrooms (hair-clogged drains, crusty towels), disheveled kitchens (sinks piled high with food-caked dirty dishes), and abominable bedrooms …

We Asked People to Sum Up Their Most Petty Opinion in Six Words

"'Game of Thrones' is fucking stupid.”<p>Which foods should be banished from the planet? Which bands should we stop idolizing? Which social norms need to die? Which TV shows are overrated (particularly ones with bastards, dragons, and incest)?<p>We asked friends and co-workers to tell us what petty, …

grilled cheese

We Asked People to Sum Up Their Worst One-Night Stands in Six Words

"Skid marks on my new sheets."<p>In a perfect world, a one-night stand is a wild, fun evening with a sorta hot semi-stranger. There's no shortage of ways a one-night tryst can go sideways, though. We asked friends and co-workers to recall their most regrettable one-night stands in six words.<p>"$160 Uber …

We Asked People to Sum Up Why They Ended a Relationship in Six Words

"Discovered his Furry Canadian internet girlfriend."<p>Whether you see a breakup coming from a mile away or it's a snap decision made in the heat of the moment, there's always a reason someone in a couple decides to call it quits. Most of them are memorable and can be boiled down to a core issue. As …

People Told Us How They Found Out Their Partner Cheated in Six Words

"Reading novel he wrote about it."<p>There's no perfect way to find out your partner stepped out of your relationship. Whether the ego-bruising, heartbreaking news was learned through your partner's social media slip-ups or other forms of so-called digital lipstick, sloppy planning oversights, or …

Relationships

People Explain Why Their Job Sucks in Six Words

"Despite hammering, glass ceiling still intact."<p>In our modern employment landscape, it's rare to find a perfect fit. Long hours, gnarly co-workers, commuting woes, thorny office politics, crabby managers; there are plenty of reasons a job can suck. Working from home can be a drag too—the only …

Microwaves

People Sum Up the Dumbest Thing They Spent Money on in Six Words

"An expensive, 'realistic'-looking horse mask."<p>It physically pains us to think about all the money we've pissed away over the years. Useless weight loss apps, exorbitant beauty treatments, pricey clothes that don't even fit––there's plenty of ways to empty one's wallet on straight up bullshit. We …

Weight Loss

We Asked People to Sum Up Their Worst Social Media Fail in Six Words

"Posted pic of daughter holding credit card."<p>Using social media involves lots of embarrassing trial and error: inappropriate jokes, outrageous overshares, mixing up personal and professional accounts, accidentally interacting with dead people. Eventually you (hopefully) learn to be more cautious …

Social Media

We Asked People to Sum Up Their First Celebrity Crush in Six Words

"Punk Nicolas Cage in 'Valley Girl.'"<p>First celebrity crushes are no joke. It’s such a powerful moment when your pre-teen hormones are kicked into high gear. Whoever it was, and whatever it was about them––Han Solo’s cocksure swagger, Kelly Kapowski’s posi vibes––they take up residence in your mind …

Beauty and the Beast

People Told Us Why They Ghosted Their Friends in Six Words

"Not one more bad poetry reading."<p>Not every friendship is destined to last a lifetime. They end. Sometimes abruptly. <i>Badly</i>. Inevitably. That in mind, we asked friends and co-workers about why they pulled the plug on a close friendship. Here’s what they said.<p>“She told cops she'd kill me.” - <i>Taylor, …

Die Hard

People Told Us the Most Irrational Thing They Hate in Six Words

“Tiny legs, big ears. Stupid corgis.”<p>We all have things we hate for no reason. If we tried to explain why this particular thing drives us up a wall, we'd sound like lunatics. But every time we're exposed to it––a soul-killing chore, annoying celebrities, grating quirks, cotton balls, whatever––we …

Bike Lanes

We Asked Women to Sum Up the Worst Sex They Ever Had in Six Words

"Cat maintained eye contact entire time."<p>Some people say pizza is like sex: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. But that has not at all been our experience. When sex is bad, it can be achingly, insanely terrible—weird smells, awkward noises, unpleasant partners. We have heard many tales of …

People Describe the Worst Roommate They Ever Had in Six Words

“Shaved pubes left all over toilet.”<p><i>What if you were reading this… in an email? Keep up to date with VICE and subscribe to our weekly newsletter.</i><p>There's a reason many people recoil at the idea of sharing their living quarters after age 30: by then, they've seen it all. They've had to haggle over a …

We Asked People to Sum Up Their Worst Dates in Six Words

"He pooped himself before dinner arrived."<p>Dating is the worst, but the best thing about it are the stories—and the best stories are simple. With that in mind, we asked friends and co-workers to sum up the worst dates they've ever been on in six words. Here's one: "Hardcore begged to see my …

Lifestyle

People Told Us Their Darkest Secrets in Six Words

"Collect toenail clippings in a jar."<p>Sexual indiscretions, regrettable financial missteps, or just severe lapses in judgement—we all have at least one gnarly secret buried deep down in the depths of our souls, things we'd die of embarrassment if our loved ones found out. We asked our friends and …

We Asked People to Describe the Drunkest They Ever Got in Six Words

"Tried to fight a fire hydrant."<p>If you've ever woken up from a night of drinking with a dry mouth, a pounding headache, and no clue where you've been and who you've texted, we feel your pain. We asked friends and co-workers to recall the drunkest they've ever been in six words. Here's what they …

Metallica

Literally Just 18 Random AF Tweets That Keep Me Awake All Night, Every Night

Provoking thought in 140 (and now also 280) characters or less.

Cats

An Objective Review of Ivanka Trump's 21-Minute Sex Playlist

Have John Legend, James Blunt, Bruno Mars, and Adele ever sounded so sexy?<p>Noisey is proud to be a world leader in important sex music research, so the emergence of the Ivanka Trump sex playlist—basically, she made a Spotify playlist full of ~love songs~ named after this color and it's funny to …

Ivanka Trump

Another Hollywood Rape Case Exposes Fake Feminist Outrage

Fake feminist alert!<p>You can add Murray Miller, writer for the HBO series, “Girls” to the list of Hollywood rapists and sex abusers.<p>Miller has been …

Feminism