Eric Anderson

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Trump appoints guy who opposes renewable energy to lead renewable energy department

President Donald Trump has tapped Dan Simmons — an opponent of renewable energy — to lead the Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy, …

Trump Says He Heard Frederick Douglass Was Alive from Betsy DeVos

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After raising eyebrows by suggesting that he believed that Frederick Douglass was still alive, Donald Trump revealed on Wednesday that everything he knew about Douglass had come from his Education Secretary nominee, Betsy DeVos.<p>“Betsy told me all about Frederick …

Why Trump’s Immigration Rules Are Unconstitutional

Don’t pay attention to the administration's spin. The law is clear.<p>President Donald Trump’s executive order temporarily barring citizens of Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen from traveling to the United States—as well as denying entry to refugees from Syria for the indefinite …

Immigration

Jimmy Fallon Makes A 'Wheel' Idiot Out Of Donald Trump

So that's how the president has been making decisions!<p>Jimmy Fallon zinged President Donald Trump pretty good on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”<p>Trump, played by Fallon, noted that he had been criticized for decisions that were made as though he were “spinning a giant wheel” and doing whatever it landed …

Sally Yates fired by Trump after acting US attorney general defied travel ban

White House says Obama appointee ‘betrayed’ justice department with letter instructing officials not to enforce president’s executive order<p>Donald Trump has fired the acting US attorney general after she told justice department lawyers not to defend his executive order banning entry for people from …

This Week In Trump's 'Alternative Facts'

Less than 24 hours after White House press secretary Sean Spicer had spouted numerous falsehoods about inauguration crowd size and more, Kellyanne Conway went on NBC's <i>Meet the Press</i> to defend him. In the process, the counselor to President Trump coined a phrase that's now destined to follow Trump …

Donald Trump

Trump’s ‘Extreme Vetting’ Executive Order On Immigration Calls For ‘Realignment’ Of Refugee Program

Many of the ways in which pundits thought President Donald Trump would use executive orders to curtail or utterly cancel President Barack Obama’s legacy have come true within his first week in office. Reigniting the fires behind the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines, officially calling for …

Immigration

A Wave of Alt-Government Twitter Accounts Are Now Mercilessly Trolling President Trump

Under Donald Trump’s administration, national parks face a number of perils greater than losing their Twitter accounts, which is what happened to the National Park Service after they tweeted “crowd-size” photos to prove one of many outrageous Trump claims wrong. However, they’re determined to …

Donald Trump

Key Justice Dept. Office Won't Say If It Approved White House Executive Orders

The U.S. Justice Department said it has "no comment" on whether its Office of Legal Counsel has reviewed any of President Trump's executive orders, which have met with criticism this week because of vague language and possible conflicts with legal precedents.<p>The department's own website says:<p>"All …

Trump Tweets the Classics

@realDonaldTrump<br>Weak Hamlet should stop moaning about past and get on with his life. All talk, no action! King Claudius has my full support.<p>@realDonaldTrump<br>Tremendously fat honey thief Winnie-the-Pooh deserves to get stuck in Rabbit’s hole. Not crying for him, believe me, <i>OR</i> low-energy …

Donald Trump

Memos: CEO of Russia's state oil company offered Trump adviser, allies a cut of huge deal if sanctions were lifted

The dossier says the offer was made in July, when Page was in Moscow giving a speech at the Higher Economic School. The claim was sourced to "a trusted compatriot and close associate" of Sechin, according to the dossier's author, former British spy Christopher Steele.<p>"Sechin's associate said that …

Russia

7 times it looked like federal agencies subtweeted Donald Trump this week

The brand new Trump administration is already dealing with a full-blown resistance — millions of women who marched around the globe, scientists planning their own protest, and, perhaps most incredibly, the Twitter feeds of at least two national parks.<p>The Trump administration has reportedly put …

Trump's most senior staff use a private email server

Donald Trump's senior White House staff including Kellyanne Conway, Jared Kushner, Sean Spicer and Steve Bannon all use a private RNC email server, according to a <i>Newsweek</i> report published Wednesday. This is the same RNC email server that mysteriously disappeared 22 million messages during George W …

Trump Creates Ten Million Jobs for Fact Checkers

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In less than a week as President, Donald J. Trump has created ten million jobs for fact checkers, the Department of Labor has confirmed.<p>Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of HonestyWatch, a Minnesota-based fact-checking organization, called the pace of hiring …

A Hilarious Parody That Welcomes Donald Trump to the Netherlands Using His Own Style of Speaking

In the spirit of diplomacy, the Dutch talk show <i>Zondag Met Lubach</i>, host Arjen Lubach wanted to introduce the 45th President of the United States to …

Sorry, Kellyanne Conway. 'Alternative facts' are just lies

I’ve spent my career being scrupulous about the truth, whether on crowd size or healthcare. I know an attempt to deceive the American public when I see it<p>I just bought my first official souvenir of the Trump era. No, it wasn’t a pink pussycat hat. It’s a black T-shirt with white typography that …

An Important Message from Mike Pence

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has issued the following message to the American people:<p>Dear American People,<p>What with all the hoopla and hullabaloo of Inauguration Week, we didn’t really get a chance to get to know each other. And so, if you don’t mind, I thought that …

Mike Pence

You Would Do The Same Thing If An Old Witch Had Your Father’s Soul Trapped In A Lantern

Trump on throngs of Sunday protesters: 'Why didn't these people vote?'

President Trump on Sunday expressed his unfiltered opinion of the Women’s March on Washington and other protests this weekend organized largely in opposition to his presidency, tweeting, “was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn't these people vote?”<p>He also said in the tweet, …

Donald Trump

Disturbed Man Gets Past White House Security, Gives Press Conference

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A man who was described as “visibly deranged” eluded the Secret Service on Saturday and gave a five-minute press conference at the White House.<p>The man, who somehow obtained White House credentials in order to bypass security, unloaded a delusional and paranoid rant …