Darlene Lancer, LMFT

116 Flips | 5 Magazines | 4 Followers | @DarleneLancer | Codependency is sneaky and powerful. You may not be aware that it’s the root cause of your problems. It affects millions of people, hurting their self-esteem and relationships. Learn more about it from expert author, Licensed Family Therapist, and international coach Darlene Lancer, author of "Codependency for Dummies" and "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You," and 6 ebooks. She's a sought-after speaker in media and professional conferences. Get "FREE 14 Tips for Letting Go" at www.whatiscodependency.com. Follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery, on Twitter, Soundcloud, and YouTube.

Can a Narcissist Love?

Anyone who’s loved a narcissist wonders, “Does he really love me?” “Does she appreciate me?” They’re torn between their love and their pain, between …

Psychology

Reality Isn’t What You Think! How Cognitive Distortions Harm Us

We all see reality through a personal lens shaped by our beliefs, culture, religion, and experiences. The movie Roshomon was a brilliant example of …

How to Handle Narcissistic Abuse

We’re all capable of abuse when we’re frustrated or hurt. We may be guilty of criticizing, judging, withholding, and controlling, but some abusers, …

Do I have to Lose My Self to Love You?

As codependents we lose ourselves in relationships, unaware that losing our Self is the greatest despair. When the relationship inevitably ends, it’s …

Understanding the Mind of a Narcissist

Despite having a seemingly strong personality, narcissists lack a core self. Their self-image and thinking and behavior are other-oriented in order …

Psychology

Do’s and Don’ts in Confronting Abuse

Abuse is about having power over someone. Abusers typically want to feel superior and to control and dominate. To them, communication is not about …

Self-esteem

Discover Your True Authentic Self

Codependents often wonder what is normal. They feel insecure and wonder how others perceive them. Many tell me they don’t really know themselves. …

Psychology

Why Romance Turns Toxic

Most everyone wants to fall in love, especially codependents. To us, love is perhaps the highest ideal, and relationships give our lives meaning and …

Relationships

5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist

People are easily charmed by a narcissist, especially codependents. Narcissists can be beguiling and charismatic. In fact, one study showed that …

Relationships

Objectifying Women Shames Everyone

Pervasiveness revelations of sexual harassment and assault have surprised most men, but not women. However, both genders are largely unaware of the …

Psychology

Gaslighting 101: Signs, Symptoms, and Recovery

Gaslighting is a malicious and hidden form of mental and <b>emotional abuse</b>, designed to plant seeds of self-doubt and alter your perception of reality. …

Self-esteem

Narcissus and Echo:  The Heartbreak of Relationships with Narcissists

The poignant myth of Narcissus and Echo crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. They were tragic Greek characters in a …

Psychology

The Power of Self-Talk

Are you aware that you talk to yourself all the time? We all do. Our self-talk makes a huge difference in our lives for better or for worse. The …

Self-help

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Our mother is our first love. She’s our introduction to life and to ourselves. She’s our lifeline to security. We initially learn about ourselves and …

Narcissism

Narcissists are Codependent, too

Writers often distinguish narcissists (someone with <i>Narcissistic Personality Disorder</i>) and codependents as opposites, but surprisingly, though their …

Psychology

How to Beat Perfectionism

Trauma of Children of Addicts & Alcoholics

Living with an addict (including alcoholics[1]) can feel like life in a war zone. The addict’s personality changes caused by addiction create chaos. …

Mental Health

5 Life-Changing Habits that Build Self-Esteem

Our thoughts are powerful – for better or worse. Thoughts can set off chain reactions that build self-esteem or undermine it. Authority over our mind …

Mindfulness

"I'm Not Perfect––I'm Only Human" –– How to Beat Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a blessing or a curse. When it helps us, it lifts our mood, and we can achieve significant accomplishments. But perpetually …

Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive?

Passive-aggressive people act passive, but are covertly aggressive. They’re basically obstructionist, and try to block whatever it is you want. Their …

Psychology

The Truth About Abusers, Abuse, and What to Do

More than 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year, including both men and women. Nearly 20 people per minute are physically …

Self-esteem

Authenticity Heals: 6 Steps to Being Authentic

Authenticity is the opposite of shame. It reveals our humanity and allows us to connect with others. Shame creates most all <b>codependency symptoms</b> – …

Self-esteem

Marriage after Sobriety

When long-awaited sobriety finally arrives, partners expect their past <b>relationship problems</b> will disappear. Often, there is a “honeymoon” period when …

Mental Health

Are You Being Manipulated?

We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, …

Self-help

Getting Triggered and What You Can Do

Getting your “buttons” pushed or getting “triggered” is an opportunity to heal and grow. The more hurts we’ve endured and the weaker our boundaries, …

Self-help

Forms of Emotional and Verbal Abuse You May Be Overlooking

There are 3 million cases of domestic violence reported each year. Many more go unreported. Emotional abuse often precedes violence, but is rarely …

Self-esteem

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

Healthy relationships nourish and support us. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is like poison to us — instead of lifting us up, it makes us …

Self-esteem

Codependency is based on Fake Facts

Codependency is based on a lie. Its symptoms develop to cope with the deep, but false and painful belief – that “I’m not worthy of love and respect.” …